Sorry it had to be done! You can blame my Dad! The way I see it, writing isn’t objective. what floats one person’s boat will capsize another’s. And so while I’m a big fan of a bad pun, I understand that not everyone is.
Which is why I make it a priority to listen to what it is you want, and understand the way in which you want to say it. A Facebook ad needs to talk in an entirely different way to a medical report, and so whilst yes, I personally enjoy writing with a little flair, I will tailor my style to yours. If your business deals in facts and figures, there is no use peppering your website with fancy adjectives. Similarly, if your street style blog is too formal, you may turn off an audience who are looking for warmth and colour in the words they read.
Words don’t always need to fly off the page, sometimes they need to hover steadily. Other times they need to swirl and loop and entice an audience. There is no one word fits all and so I will size up exactly what it is you need and tailor every job perfectly to you (I love a good metaphor too)!